Riddle Stories With Mom

by Julie Pasqual

     

Julie Pasqual

As a daughter – I have A LOT to make up for!  While I was not a kid who did drugs, or landed up in jail, or any of that kind of thing – I was, and guess still am, the family rebel.  While my five siblings chose the road my parents laid out for them – Catholic High School; College; Grad School; steady, reliable jobs.  I went the opposite way  - public arts high school, no college, left the nest and started performing (with all the uncertainty that entails) at seventeen.  To say that my parents – my Mom in particular, were not concerned about my wellbeing at best, and furious at my choices at worst would be a HUGE understatement.  There were many battles, and times of tension between us, and many immature words to them, that I wish I could take back.                              

        But time, and maturity, has a way of bringing back together what would appear to be torn apart, and so I find myself so much in love with my Mom, that it fills my eyes with tears even to write this.  During this time of Covid-19 – my focus has been quite singular – keep my husband and my mother safe – it is behind every wash of my hands, and every squirt of Purell.  Perhaps it is because I lost time being a brat, that now I do not want this invisible poison to take the mother I have once again found.

        Mom is obviously elderly, so the lock down for her, really is DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME!!  And this is hard – Mom has a schedule most twenty year olds could not keep up with – there is church, bible study, her beloved craft club – and she can’t do any of it.  Her back isn’t great, and her eyes are weak, but my Mom’s mind is as sharp as the proverbial tack – something she prides herself on, and something – although she never outright says this – she fears losing.  Every time she speaks of a friend who isn’t quite remembering as well as they used to – I can hear the nervousness in her voice.

       So, I began to think – what can I do?  My elder siblings have the getting of food to Mom, and the paying of bills, and delivery of medicines well in hand – what could I offer.  Stories!!  The first night of what I call the “Great Hunker Down” – I picked up the phone, and announced, “Mom, every night, I am going to read you a riddle story – and we’ll try to get the answer together.”  Mom gave a little “Hmph!” – a thing I have heard many times in my life – it says, “This is my crazy kid – but she means well!”

        “While Standing on One Foot” – is a wonderful book of Jewish riddle tales – and I took that as my source.  And here is the thing about my Mom – she is COMPETITIVE!!!  She was not one to let us kids win at a game!  I remember distinctly the first time one of us  - it was my brother Michael, actually beat Mom in Scrabble – we sat, withheld breath, until the last letter was down and erupted in joy!!!  He did it!  Mom smiled, too, she was glad he had won fair and square – but you can believe she beat him the next time!  So, having something to figure out, was right up her alley.  

      The first few nights, I would just call, and she would almost forget about the riddle de jour – but then after catching up with the craziness of this new world, Mom would say, “Okay – what’s my riddle?”  I love laying down the question, and then listening for her pause – thinking, and then her response – she is almost always right, or if not, she comes up with something better.  I laugh hard, and smile, and thank God that I have this time with her.

         There is no telling how long this “Hunker Down” will last, and I can only pray that my Mom remains untouched by this killer of virus, but no matter what happens these riddle story times will be moments I will treasure for the rest of my life.